When To Tell a Kid They Were Conceived With a Sperm Donor

The three primary factors to consider when thinking about disclosure are:

• Does the child have an inherent right or need to know biological origins, and what is in their best interests? 
• How does disclosure impact the recipient parents?
•  When to disclose the information to offspring? 

Disclosure is not something that occurs one time.  Disclosure is a story that evolves over time and through a series of opportunities for parents to come to terms with their decision and to share with offspring the need to use donor gametes as well as the emotional decision that led them to this path.  Disclosure involves the need to share that the importance of family and the need to become a family unit.  The decision to disclose genetic origin greatly varies from family to family and is often impacted by the specific family unit, their structure and makeup, their religious, social and cultural values. 

It is essential to know when to make the decision to disclose genetic origins to offspring.  Although there is no one right answer, recent data shows that sharing genetic origins with children at a young age is much preferred to divulging the information in adolescence.  A recent study performed by Cambridge University researchers has found that disclosure of sperm donor paternity at an early age lowers the likelihood of negative reactions from the offspring.

The study findings published in the recent issue of Human Reproduction provides different perspectives regarding the response of the offspring depending on the age at which their biological origin is disclosed.  Traditionally, donor conception has been treated with secrecy.  A recent increasing trend towards openness of genetic origin has showed positive impact on children of all ages.  In fact, most mental health professionals specializing in collaborative reproduction, encourage parental openness to reveal genetic origins to children as young as three years old.  This trend can further be evidenced by the growing number of children books written about egg and sperm donor conception and geared for children between the ages of three and eight years of age.

-Mindy Berkson

Related Posts:

• Studies Say Better To Tell Kids They're Donor-Conceived (Disclosing the Perfect Stranger: A Guide for Egg and Sperm Recipients, Part 2)
• Disclosing Genetic Origins to Donor-Conceived Kids (Disclosing the Perfect Stranger: A Guide for Egg and Sperm Recipients, Part 1)
  
• Guest Posts From Fertility Consultant Mindy Berkson (Intro)

As one of the first infertility consultancies in the United States, Lotus Blossom Consulting, LLC was founded by Mindy Berkson in 2005.  With more than a decade of experience at physician’s offices, and egg donor and surrogacy agencies, Berkson assists individuals working through the often-challenging roadblocks of infertility, by providing the best information and resources available to them from around the world – all in one location.

For more information about Lotus Blossom Consulting, LLC, call toll free (877) 881-2685, email  mindy@lotusblossomconsulting.com or visit the web at www.lotusblossomconsulting.com or www.infertilityconsultant.com. 

References

1. Golombok, S., Cook, R., Bish, A. and Murray, C. (1995) Families created by the new reproductive technologies: quality of parenting and social and emotional development of the children.  Child Dev., 66, 285-298.

2. Greenfield, D., The impact of disclosure on donor gamete participants: donors, intended parents and offspring.  Current opinion in Obstetrics and Gynecology 2008, 20:265-268.

3. Jadva V, Freeman T, Kramer W. The experiences of adolescents and adults conceived by sperm donation: comparisons by age of disclosure and family type. Hum Reprod. 2009; doi:10.1093/humrep/dep110.

4. Lycett E, Daniels K, Curson R, Golombok S. Offspring created as a result of donor insemination: a study of family relationships, child adjustment, and disclosure. Fertil Steril. 2004 Jul;82(1):172-9.

5. MacCallum F, Golombok S. Embryo donation families: mothers’ decisions regarding disclosure of donor conception. Hum Reprod. 2007 Nov;22(11):2888-95.

6. Van Berkel D.,Candido A.,Pijffers WH.  Becoming a mother by nonanonymous egg donation: secrecy and the relationship between egg recipient, egg donor, and egg donation child, J. Psychosom Obstel Gynecol 2007; 28:97-104.